The Ocean Would Paint Me Blue: From the Author of Global Sensation as Long as the Lemon Trees Grow

What if grief drained your world of colour and you had to find a way to paint it back?

From the author of the international bestseller As Long As the Lemon Trees Grow, comes a deeply moving and unforgettable story of loss, identity, resilience, and the healing power of art.

After the sudden death of her mother, Jihad hopes that transferring to an elite high school will offer her a fresh start. But instead, she finds herself isolated and judged the only Muslim student, marked by her hijab and even her name. Surrounded by suspicion and quiet hostility, trusting anyone feels impossible.

Only one classmate shows her kindness but can she truly believe in his intentions?

As grief tightens its hold, Jihad retreats into the one place she feels safe: an old sketchbook filled with memories of her mother. Through art and storytelling, she begins to reconnect with the past but what starts as a personal escape soon becomes something far more powerful.

Can she find the strength to embrace who she is, reclaim her voice, and bring colour back into her life?

This heart-wrenching and hopeful young adult novel explores:

Grief, healing, and emotional resilience
Muslim identity and representation
The transformative power of art and storytelling
Friendship, trust, and belonging
Navigating prejudice and finding your place
Perfect for readers who loved As Long As the Lemon Trees Grow and powerful coming-of-age stories, this is an unputdownable, emotional journey that will stay with you long after the final page.

A must-read for fans of diverse YA fiction, emotional storytelling, and stories that make you feel deeply.

Zoulfa Katouh is a Canadian with Syrian roots based in Switzerland. She is currently pursuing her master's in Drug Sciences and finds Studio Ghibli inspiration in the mountains, lakes, and stars surrounding her. When she's not talking to herself in the woodland forest, she's drinking iced coffee, baking aesthetic cookies and cakes, and telling everyone who would listen about how BTS paved the way. One of her many dreams is to get Kim Nam-joon to read one of her books.

A searing portrait of a Syrian American teen navigating grief, identity, and systemic injustice in contemporary America ... Magical realism, rooted in a maternal ­lineage of gifted women, adds lyrical depth without overwhelming the contemporary narrative. Katouh's prose captures the weight of ­systemic ­oppression and the fierce resilience it takes to survive. A powerful, ­unflinching ­exploration of ­Islamophobia, identity, and grief. An essential purchase for all collections. ― School Library Journal

I loved this story. I saw myself so clearly in Jihad. Her grief, her loss, her joy, her love. It felt so familiar, so close to home. It's so beautifully written. Zoulfa paints with words, and I expect nothing less from. Because when you give Zoulfa Katouh a pen, magic happens. This is a story about loss, but at its core it is a gorgeous, magical, and heart wrenching story about the power and strength we find in our grief. -- Huda Fahmy, author of Huda F Are You?

A modern classic about what it means to live, to hope, to despair, and to keep living despite everything. With her signature lyrical prose, Zoulfa Katouh paints an achingly beautiful portrait of a young girl in grief and in love. Brace yourself-there will be tears, and they will be worth it. -- Ann Liang, author of I Hope This Doesn't Find You

Jihad's self-erasure and gradual reclamation of her confidence resonate deeply, and Katouh renders the bullying she endures with honesty. The portrayals of Syrian American identity, Muslim faith, and diaspora experiences are authentic and lyrical, and Jihad and Jamie's relationship, rooted in shared longing and cultural questioning, is tender and well-paced.

Devastating and luminous.

― Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

A powerful exploration of injustice, identity, and the radical act of making oneself feel seen. ― Publishers Weekly (starred review)

Katouh follows As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow (2022) with an intense contemporary novel centering 17-year-old Jihad Dabbagh, an artist and daughter of Syrian parents who emigrated to Queens, N.Y. It has been one year since her mother's shocking death. Colors used to whisper to Jihad. Now, she sees the world in grayscale, manifesting her grief and depression. Jihad's father sends her to Braxton Academy, a prestigious, mostly-white private school, for her senior year to increase her chances of getting into NYU. Jihad can't tell him she dreams of attending art school in San Francisco. At Braxton, Jihad's name and hijab inspire Islamophobia that escalates into bullying and abuse. Only Jamie, the gorgeous, kind boy assigned as her orientation "buddy," befriends and protects her. Jihad escapes into recreating scenes from her mother's life in a mysterious found sketchbook. Miraculously, the images appear as colorful murals across New York City, causing a social media frenzy. This is an incredibly tense, unpredictable read. Jamie and Jihad's budding relationship is the only relief, and it is beautiful to witness. Fans of multi-accolade Sabaa Tahir's All My Rage (2022) will be on the edge of their seats, utterly invested in a vulnerable protagonist who survives betrayal, neglect, and loss, ultimately finding the strength to thrive.

― Booklist (starred review)

As gorgeous as it is groundbreaking ... This book is devastatingly beautiful ― David Arnold, NYT bestselling author of Mosquitoland, on As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow

Wrenching and lyrical ― Samira Ahmed, NYT Bestselling author of Internment, on As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow

Heartbreaking and poignant ― i Newspaper on As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow