U n Me . . . it’s Complicated

Love is not complicated, people are!

Pyaar, Mohabbat, Ishq, junoon—love has its own Synonyms.

The four-letter word, easy to spell and easier to say, is far more complicated when the brain and heart play their parts in a relationship.

Aditya, a nerd, falls head over heels in love with Rutuja, who happens to be the eye candy of the college. Rutuja loves books and wants Aditya to pen down a story.

Will Aditya, a non-reader, manage to write a novel?

Just when their relationship goes on a roller-coaster ride for the worse, Aditya decides to attempt suicide.

Can a relationship make you weak?

Can true love make you a rebellious, self-destructive, and violent person?

Or will it make way for a better future?

From the bestselling author of until love sets us apart comes another heart-wrenching tale of not just true love and friendship but also about hope and destiny, and the journey of a non-reader as he becomes a Bestselling author.

Aditya Nighhot lives in Pune and is a doctor by profession. He completed his MBBS from a renowned college in Pune. He started writing at the age of twenty and since then, writing has become a passion. His first book, Until Love Sets Us Apart released in September 2018 and became an instant national bestseller, winning him an award as well. He is currently working on his next book. Aditya is also an avid reader and a photographer and has a keen interest in music. He is active on social media and loves interacting with his readers and fans.

A must-read book for every student who is struggling to achieve their goals – The Asian Chronicle
A modern day love story! – Thinkerviews.com
What an intriguing story! The focus of U n Me…It’s Complicated seems to be romance but as the story unfurls it becomes clear that it is much more about self discovery and coping up with relationships – bookishelf

U n Me . . . it’s Complicated by Dr. Aditya R. Nighhot is a contemporary relationship-focused book that explores the complicated nature of human connections, emotions, misunderstandings, expectations, and the search for meaningful companionship. At its heart, the book looks at relationships not as simple stories with clearly defined beginnings and endings, but as constantly changing experiences shaped by personality, communication, circumstances, insecurity, attraction, trust, and personal growth.

The title itself captures one of the central ideas of the book. Relationships can be beautiful and deeply fulfilling, but they can also become confusing. Two people may care about each other and still struggle to understand one another. They may have strong feelings but different expectations. They may want closeness while simultaneously being afraid of getting hurt. In this way, the word “complicated” reflects the emotional uncertainty that often exists between two people.

The book encourages readers to look beyond the simple idea that every relationship must either succeed or fail. Human relationships rarely fit neatly into such categories. People change over time, and their priorities, emotional needs, ambitions, and understanding of themselves can also change. What feels right at one stage of life may feel different later. The book explores this shifting emotional landscape and encourages readers to think more carefully about what they expect from another person.

One of the important themes is communication. Many relationship problems do not begin because people stop caring. They begin because people stop expressing themselves honestly or assume that the other person should automatically understand what they are feeling. Unspoken expectations can gradually create frustration and distance.

Good communication requires more than simply talking. It requires listening, asking questions, expressing feelings without unnecessary blame, and allowing the other person to explain their perspective. When communication becomes one-sided, misunderstandings can grow quickly. The book's relationship-oriented perspective encourages readers to recognize that emotional clarity often begins with honest conversation.

Another major issue is expectation. People often enter relationships with ideas about how the other person should behave. They may expect constant attention, immediate replies, emotional reassurance, complete agreement, or unconditional availability. When reality does not match these expectations, disappointment follows.

The problem is not necessarily having expectations. Healthy relationships require certain standards, such as respect, honesty, and trust. The difficulty arises when expectations become unrealistic or remain unspoken. Understanding the difference between healthy needs and unrealistic demands can help people approach relationships more maturely.

The book also reflects on trust, which is one of the foundations of a meaningful relationship. Trust is not created through promises alone. It develops through consistent actions over time. When someone repeatedly behaves in a reliable and respectful manner, trust gradually becomes stronger.

On the other hand, dishonesty, secrecy, manipulation, or repeated broken promises can damage trust. Once trust has been weakened, rebuilding it can be much harder than creating it in the first place. This makes honesty important even when the truth is uncomfortable.

Another theme is emotional vulnerability. To become genuinely close to another person, individuals usually need to reveal parts of themselves that they may prefer to keep hidden. This can include fears, insecurities, past disappointments, ambitions, and emotional needs.

Vulnerability can feel risky because it creates the possibility of rejection. A person may therefore create emotional walls to protect themselves. While these walls can provide temporary safety, they can also prevent genuine intimacy. The book explores the tension between wanting connection and being afraid of emotional pain.

Relationships are also influenced by individual identity. Two people may be emotionally connected, but they remain separate individuals with their own goals, friendships, interests, careers, and personal values. A healthy relationship does not require one person to completely lose their individuality.

Maintaining a sense of self is important because dependence can sometimes be confused with love. A person should be able to care deeply for someone while still developing their own identity and pursuing their own goals. Healthy closeness involves connection without complete loss of independence.

The book also considers the role of past experiences in present relationships. People do not enter relationships as blank pages. Previous friendships, family experiences, disappointments, betrayals, and emotional wounds can influence how they behave with someone new.

For example, someone who has been betrayed may struggle to trust even a person who has done nothing wrong. Someone who has experienced emotional neglect may seek constant reassurance. Understanding these patterns can help people respond with greater awareness rather than automatically repeating old reactions.

This leads to the importance of self-awareness. Before expecting another person to solve emotional problems, individuals need to understand themselves. They need to recognize what makes them insecure, what they genuinely need, what they fear, and what behaviors they may need to change.

Self-awareness can make relationships healthier because it reduces the tendency to blame everything on the other person. Instead of asking only, “Why does this person treat me this way?” a person can also ask, “What role am I playing in this situation?”

The book also explores conflict, which is unavoidable in close relationships. Two people will not agree on everything. They may have different opinions, habits, communication styles, priorities, or emotional reactions.

Conflict itself does not necessarily indicate that a relationship is unhealthy. The way conflict is handled is more important. Arguments become damaging when they involve humiliation, threats, manipulation, constant criticism, or deliberate emotional harm. Constructive disagreement, on the other hand, can sometimes help people understand one another better.

Learning to disagree without disrespect is therefore an important relationship skill. A person can strongly disagree with someone while still recognizing their dignity and feelings.

Another important idea is emotional maturity. Mature relationships require people to understand that love is not simply about intense feelings. Feelings can change from one day to another. Long-term relationships require patience, responsibility, respect, communication, and the willingness to work through difficult periods.

Romantic attraction may bring two people together, but emotional maturity helps determine whether they can build something lasting.

The book also encourages readers to think about boundaries. Caring for someone does not mean accepting every behavior. Healthy relationships require clear limits around respect, privacy, communication, personal space, and emotional well-being.

Boundaries help people understand what is acceptable and what is not. They also prevent relationships from becoming situations in which one person continually sacrifices their needs while the other person takes advantage of that generosity.

Another significant aspect of complicated relationships is timing. Sometimes two people may genuinely care about one another but be at different stages of life. Career responsibilities, family circumstances, personal ambitions, distance, or emotional readiness can influence whether a relationship works.

This reminds readers that feelings alone cannot always overcome circumstances. A relationship requires both emotional connection and practical compatibility.

The book also invites readers to think about compatibility. Two people may be attracted to one another while having very different values. Attraction can be powerful, but long-term compatibility often depends on deeper issues such as honesty, respect, lifestyle preferences, priorities, communication, and expectations about the future.

Recognizing incompatibility does not necessarily mean that either person is bad. Sometimes people simply want different things. Understanding this can prevent unnecessary attempts to force a relationship into a form that does not suit either person.

Another recurring idea is the importance of letting go. Not every relationship is meant to continue forever. Some relationships teach important lessons, provide meaningful experiences, and eventually come to an end.

Letting go can be painful because people often hold on not only to the person but also to the future they imagined together.